PTSD

Is this PTSD....images are flashing into my mind. Of the steps I took to enter the place where they moved their bodies to for preparation. The garish lights of Lahore, mocking me as I climbed those concrete steps, to enter the building where my two boys were in some freezer somewhere.

Is this PTSD...I see QMM's eyes...fully dilated, not responding to light or stimuli. Not responding to my screams, my compressions, my breath.

I can't block these thoughts...I don't want to block them...I want to block them.

Please Don't

Please don't dictate to me my relationship with God. Please don't tell me how I should communicate with God. What works for you, does not neccessarily work for me. I am happy for you that you feel spiritually connected. Why can't you be happy for me for my relationship with God? Why does it have to be your way???? Do you think you are the "pro"?????

You mean well, but you sound arrogant. You sound like " I am the expert. My relationship with God is better than your relationship with God". Oh really??????

I love you, but please stop. STOP. Don't give me religious lectures. Don't tell me what I am feeling. Don't tell me how I am supposed to feel. How do YOU know????

Plesae don't cheapen my sacred relationship with my God like that.  STOP.

Labor Day

Today was my first Labor Day without you; I wish it were my last...